here today

 

the story

 I'm waiting for someone to call me back about a tax sheltered annuity.  While I'm waiting, I'll tell you a story about two flat tires, a bumper, the short film festival and Castro.

A friend of mine made a short film.  And it won awards but he was too poor to travel to the festivals to see it.  We were both living in L.A. so it was a happy day when he heard it was playing at the Mill Valley Film Festival near San Francisco.  We could drive there, stay with friends, eat at the buffets.  Free road trip, man. 

We set out in the Honda Civic Hatchback - tunes in the tapedeck, windows rolled down, smiles on our faces. 

When the first tire blew, it knocked off the bumper. 

We put on the spare, ran out into the middle of the freeway, grabbed the bumper and stuck it inside the car.  We drove the rest of the way with the bumper between us, three normal tires, and one tiny spare.

The festival was fun.  The parties were really fun.  The best one was held at a swanky house with tents and champagne and bread pudding and old people in fur coats discussing FILMS.  We ate lots and drank even more and tried not to break anything, then left the party with a bottle of champagne that I stole.

Waiting outside for the valet, holding the contraband bottle of champagne, we stood next to one very sparkly well-dressed couple.  The man said in a very snooty voice that he wondered why anyone bothered making short films anyhow as there Can't Be Any Money In Them.

At that moment, the valet arrived with our car.  And he BACKED it up to us so that the view the snooty couple got was a bumperless Honda Civic Hatchback with three regular tires and one spare tire, several dents and the bumper INSIDE the car sticking up between the two front seats.

We tipped him really well.

On the way home, another tire blew.  (What are the odds?)

We pulled over at a gas station and inside there were business cards for Castro the Tire Man.  He travels up and down I-5 in a big truck.  Full of tires.  Not only did he sell us the tire, but he bolted the bumper back on the car, laughed at our tale, and only charged us sixty bucks. 

Moral of the story:  Don't make short films, there's no money in it.  

Posted by: 120pages at 13:45 | link | comments (1) |