abbie the cat
american girl
bakerina
banzai descent
eunmi
found magazine
garden gal
hedgehog
Joe
leigh lady leigh
likewise
master of the etch-a-sketch
oh my stars and garters
overheard in New York
pongomania
receptionista
ridiculousnous perspective
rusty magdal
schoolsmelt
tremble
today
March 2008
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December 2004
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visited *loading* times
ben is making his album making his dream following his bliss going somewhere new.
ben is making his album he's gone all the time.
ben is making his album so even when he's home he's attached to the piano him and the piano are talking a language I can't feel. ben is making his album so even when he's with me he's not with me. Even when he's with me he's making music in his head adjusting notes levels tones I don't even know my tone deaf self doesn't even know what he's doing inside of there I just know he's not outside he's inside.
ben is making his album I miss him. I count on his solid Taurus moon to hold me steady my airy soul likes to wander and flit move from project to project starting stopping always talking. Ben's Taurus moon his Libra rising hold me steady I count on that.
ben is making his album and for him I clap smile push him onward upward outward. I am here telling him not to compromise telling him to go go go meet the photographer the masterer the designer the team the album team. Go go go I say out loud but inside I am wanting him back. Wanting him back when he was too scared to fly. Wanting him back my cheerleader my rock solid worrier. Wanting him smaller safer back with me.
you're making your album and I miss you but go go go with your wild and precious self. your distracted consumed artist self. go go go and I'll be here a little sad. I'll be here missing you missing you standing behind me but so happy that you're gone.
see you soon.
painting in the basement was never going to work. painting in the basement was never really ever going to work but I tried. I tried because the alternative was to rearrange our nearly tidy lives our quite tidy house our serene space our home. I tried because I often upset Ben and I didn't want to upset Ben. I tried because it seemed better to keep this new thing this old thing downstairs in the dark in the cave.
but painting in the basement was never going to work and so I drilled holes in the old fir. I drilled holes in the beautiful old fir floor restrung the cable line unhooked the wires the tangled mess of wires. Moved our lives upside down shook everything out of place out of order and Ben likes order. Ben likes order he's got Libra rising rearranges the salt and pepper shakers the silverware the flower vases at every restaurant. Ben likes order his clothes always match I waited until Ben left I shook everything out of place and now I've got a room of my own with light and space. I 've got a room of my own I'm giddy with blank slate newness.
